Zuco

If Zuco had to describe himself as a Miley Cyrus song, he thinks that 7 Things would be the best (even if others might choose Wrecking Ball; he can't help that he's meaty and the world is too small). Here are 7 Things Zuco thinks you'll love about him! 1) If words of affirmation are your love language, you're in luck! Zuco loves to express his affection and thoughts. Emotional constipation? Never heard of it. 2) Your arms will be very toned; Zuco's favorite game is playing with the flirt pole, and he requires you to move it around for him at least thirty minutes a day (though he'd prefer thirty hours) 3) Your floors will never be cluttered; Zuco likes to pick up any miscellaneous items he finds! A tidy guy is hard to find, so this is a unique skill. 4) No need to run the heating bill up in the winter; Zuco will be sure to sit right on top of you so you can be comfortable and warm. He is a top notch cuddler! 5) Your skin will always be moisturized, because Zuco likes to share his drool. He's heard that snail slime is all the rage, so he's hoping to start a small business for Dog Drool Drops. The latest in skincare technology! 6) Zuco may have a large head, but that's only to contain his many thoughts. He surely understands every word we're saying, though his neural processor best operates when he hears key words like "outside" and "toy". 7) You won't spot Zuco on the "Are We Dating the Same Guy?" page because he is totally single and ready to mingle! He's got his settings checked for long term relationship, and he knows The One is out there! Come take this most eligible bachelor off the market before he decides to do something crazy, like submit himself for Love Island.

Zuco is: